Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Devotional
I was thinking of how to set this blog of mine into a better mould once more and realised that a 40-day devotional and prayer-partnership will work excellently, and hopefully reap fruitfully.So as I gather a contingent of like-hearted individuals, I hope this blog will be graced by inspired scribbles and truthful ponderings.
lux at 10:57 am
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Condoning a bit of vilification
The thought of sullying my other blog with a post on politics in Singapore was immensely off-putting. Not that either the contents of this entry or the content of the recommended blog in question are unworthy of a feature on my other blog.I would rather keep politics, of a particularly dirty, underhand Singaporean nature, separate from the people and experiences that drive my life. Which leads me to the dish of the day:
http://singabloodypore.blogspot.com
You thought politics in Singapore were lacklustre, and its inhabitants mouthless, opinionless, directionless? Well you obviously have not thought of the possibilities afforded by worldwideweb resources.
ta.
lux at 2:28 pm
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
The Zoom Factor
Less than two years on and I realised I just could (and can) not keep this blog going, not with the style I am adopting and certainly not at the pace it is crawling at. How relevant has this been for me? well back in the days when I had every intention to cultivate a dry sarcastic humour whilst keeping up with writing, no matter how occasional it was, this blog had a purpose.To completely adopt a different tone, visual concept and writerly intent seemed, to me, virtually (pun perhaps intended) impossible without embarking on a new journalistic project. To others a revolution was as easy as
a. insert an entry stating your new goals and the consequential change of tone
b. carrying on with your new blogging character like adapting was never an issue with author and audience at all
Well I guess the problem laid with me. If you don't like it don't read it anymore right? So perhaps assimilating into a new writing life within the same cyber-constructs seemed simply - wrong.
This doesn't mean that what has been written here was, and is, any less me. However as biological time moves so does the shape of my life. Am I going to resurrect this blog hereafter? by not deleting it I am both keeping alive that possibility and more importantly, affirming this virtual being's relevance to an understanding of my development over the past 2 years.
Blogs, as I have seen (and I do have a slightly illustrious history of starting and not properly ending blogs), cogently lack the ability to provide a stable and permanent means of expressing and understanding myself. Do I write everything and anything about myself in them? That is honestly a weak rhetorical question. Although everything and anything in them are, I admit, quite piercingly near the truth. [of course there's the odd exaggeration and attempt at sounding honest]
I have found a secure sanctuary where I can rest in the trust and confidence that anything I say and do is not without accountability and guidance. The virtual realm has provided an economical means in which I can express some of my thoughts - not all but just enough. A blog is not a sanctuary, never can fully be, but it can be a means to let others in on those little secrets that goes on in this sanctuary of mine.
Have you found a place to rest? I have. So I am moving on.
lux at 9:02 pm
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
dredges
when will I finally be able to cast aside all my habits of glancing back at my rebellious, self-destructive past, and focus completely on my more inspiring present? to not feel mawkish towards my (supposedly) melancholic former self, for to acknowledge the presence of sentiment and allow it to take root is cheap and useless.I do not understand how I could once be caught in a lull and almost immediately perk up the next moment. or am I still doing it now except with less intensity and hence make those mood swings become simultaneously less perceptible? oh come on lux why are you still trying to rationalise the irrational.
lux at 1:23 pm
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
provoking the peace
In no particular order, list 3 people you talk to online, 4 people you see in school, 2 teachers, 3 people you lurve going out with and 3 people in your sms box.1. Pat
2. Mic
3. Sam
4. Matthew
5. Shuwen
6. Angela
7. Cammie
8. David Liew
9. Rollie
10. Eliz
11. Allison
12. Zaki
13. Xinyan
14. Pris
15. Melissa
So what do you think about no. 4?
God-fearing guy, easy going, down to earth, great reliable friend to have.
How nice is no. 6 ?
Haha everyone's nice, I've yet to meet someone who's a pest. But having said that, I won't skirt the issue - Angela has one of the most genuine personalities amongst my friends. Humourous and light-hearted... does that qualify for nice or is nice to bland a word to use?
On a scale of 1-10, how good looking number is no.5 ?
She's got a fantastic smile, an infectious personality, is tall, slim with pretty eyes. So on a scale, she'll be hitting all the high notes.
Will you ever fall for no.11 ?
ahhh, sometimes randomness just suffocates you, maybe I should have been deliberate in my placing of names besides numbers. If I were a guy, I would, but proceed with much sensitivity and respect. But then I'm not a guy, so anything esle is a no-go, please.
Honestly, if no.8 met with an accident, what will you do ?
Get the whole art class to go visit him, maybe design some humongous 3D card, and pray. The last being the most precious and most fruitful.
How much do you like no. 2 ?
Hehe! Online buddy, or the 'diary' I report to daily (as I've called her, she wasn't too amused, haha). Frank, humourous, one who endears over time, and highly sensitive. Do I like? Yeah I do, for there is hardly any reason to dislike anyone completely. And - she's a dear friend to have, just that others have to appreciate her efforts and strengths.
Will 7 & 13 make a gd couple?
Well they know each other as friends. And again I'm kicking myself at the randomness of allocating names.
Would 14 kill you one day?
Nah! We lurve each other too much to do that! Bus buddies and endless-chats gal friends - too potent a combination to allow any hint of animosity get the better of her (or me).
Who do you like most ? 3 or 10 ?
ahhh 3 is a lurvely girl - though quiet and quite a tough nut to crack, she is amiable and frank. I lurve frankness. Realised how much both of us share in common with regards to certain aspects of life. With regards to 10 - she's fun and easy to talk to. known her for years but there's still an aura of mystery about her. as with 3, I find it easy at times relating to what 10 says and does. So perhaps owing to my, at times, capricious and idiosyncratic nature, I like neither the most and one just as much as the other.
Hehe. If any of you dear readers of this sluggish blog decide to do this *whatever* out of boredom or interest, keep me informed so I too can peek into your life.
lux at 1:45 am
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Que sera sera? selah
Life gets more compellingly difficult, and complicated, with every month that passes. The new year has quite comfortably settled in, as I find myself uttering the right numerals and stopped referring to the current year in future tense. However while my body moves forward, my mind is stalled by a habitual tendency to backtrack. What is so compellingly difficult is how I backtrack and remain there, mired and stuck in limbo.The past week has been one of realisation and confusion. I dislike it when people, especially my mum, tell me I should do something with gifts I am supposed to be blessed with. I am no genius; and gifts, being alone, fades away without effort. I kick myself for not trying harder, for not being more 'proactive' (oh how I detest that word. is being active not enough? and if I act on it, do I really want to do it?). I always knew I enjoyed doing certain things and realising, in many more unexplainable, inexplicable ways, I was recognised for doing them. However it is no longer enough to be good, above average or remarkable, one has to continue upping the stakes, garner continual praises and be excellent, extraordinary, incomparable. Gifts are no longer natural endowments, they become quantifiable - never yours to keep but others to judge. So if I was as good as some people made me out to be some time in a distant past, why am I not doing nothing with anything in the present? I realised I am burdened by everything the past has made me out to be.
Where is the passion? Where is that vortex which attracts and draws out energy from within me? I would like to know, because for now, I feel like there is a small vortex within me myself which is slowly swallowing what passion remains within me. It is selfish and allows me to produce nothing tangible and satisfying.
I fluctuate between two states - that of being wholy fulfilled and the other, of being increasingly empty and drained out. The former is of hope, the latter of hope being run over by the drudgeries of time and lethargy. I try convincing myself that if I just took a rest and not work at proving anything to anyone, I would come marginally closer to achieving the true peace promised by the first state. Silly! Who is my worst, most insidious and deceptive enemy?
Is it me?
lux at 1:11 pm
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Bushisms of the Year!
Came across this article in my country's daily and thought it'll be good to share something rather, silly, on the last day of the year. So while some of us (ie. me) are burning our brains and hearts out by thinking about the year that is about to pass down into history, a bit of mirth is not ill-timed and definitely not unwelcomed.So laugh on.
Call it the wrong phrase at the wrong time, but "Brownie, you're doing a heckuva job" was named as US President George W. Bush's most memorable phrase of 2005.
The ill-timed praise of a now disgraced agency head became a national punchline for countless jokes and pointed comments about the administration's handling of the Hurricane Katrina disaster, and added to the President's reputation for verbal gaffes and clumsy turns of phrase.
My Paul Payack, president of Global Language Monitor, a non-profit group that monitors language use, says Mr Bush's statement in support of the then-director of the Federal Emergency Agency may be remembered for years.
"The 'Brownie' quote leads our 2005 list of Bushisms - memorable phrases or new words coined by the President."
Ten days after Mr Bush verbally patted Mr Michael Brown on the back, Mr Brown resigned.
Mr Payack said President Bush may be the foremost White House creator of new words, citing such past efforts as 'misunderestimate' (to seriously underestimate) and 'embetter' (to make emotionally better).
And a few others:
"See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."
Mr Bush explaining his communication strategy last May
"I think I may need a bathroom break. Is this possible?"
Mr Bush asked in a note to Secretary of State Condolezza Rice during a United Nations Security Council meeting in September
"In terms of timetables, as quickly as possible - whatever that means."
The President on his timeframe for passing Social Security legislation in March
Reuters [featured in The Straits Times Dec 31, 2005]
lux at 5:58 pm