Tuesday, April 04, 2006
The Zoom Factor
Less than two years on and I realised I just could (and can) not keep this blog going, not with the style I am adopting and certainly not at the pace it is crawling at. How relevant has this been for me? well back in the days when I had every intention to cultivate a dry sarcastic humour whilst keeping up with writing, no matter how occasional it was, this blog had a purpose.To completely adopt a different tone, visual concept and writerly intent seemed, to me, virtually (pun perhaps intended) impossible without embarking on a new journalistic project. To others a revolution was as easy as
a. insert an entry stating your new goals and the consequential change of tone
b. carrying on with your new blogging character like adapting was never an issue with author and audience at all
Well I guess the problem laid with me. If you don't like it don't read it anymore right? So perhaps assimilating into a new writing life within the same cyber-constructs seemed simply - wrong.
This doesn't mean that what has been written here was, and is, any less me. However as biological time moves so does the shape of my life. Am I going to resurrect this blog hereafter? by not deleting it I am both keeping alive that possibility and more importantly, affirming this virtual being's relevance to an understanding of my development over the past 2 years.
Blogs, as I have seen (and I do have a slightly illustrious history of starting and not properly ending blogs), cogently lack the ability to provide a stable and permanent means of expressing and understanding myself. Do I write everything and anything about myself in them? That is honestly a weak rhetorical question. Although everything and anything in them are, I admit, quite piercingly near the truth. [of course there's the odd exaggeration and attempt at sounding honest]
I have found a secure sanctuary where I can rest in the trust and confidence that anything I say and do is not without accountability and guidance. The virtual realm has provided an economical means in which I can express some of my thoughts - not all but just enough. A blog is not a sanctuary, never can fully be, but it can be a means to let others in on those little secrets that goes on in this sanctuary of mine.
Have you found a place to rest? I have. So I am moving on.
lux at 9:02 pm