Sunday, July 10, 2005
A summery winter in Sunshine Coast
My three days of vacation in Sunshine Coast turned out to be a timely culmination of a series of spiritual experiences which started when the holidays began, and became more intense as the weeks passed. The first day was a visit to the beaches and a talk with Pastor Wee; the second a full day in church and of simultaneous thinking and contemplation; the third a visit to the mountains and a discovery of the beauty in my life.I was once the cow chewing the cud but never daring to swallow it down.
It was a beauty I never knew existed in such a pure, simple and uncomplicated form. I had, at many times, professed to appreciate the subtler, more elusive details in life. I remember reiterating to friends and family the importance of not just going for the obvious big picture... thinking back I do not know if I did that because I truly believed so on every single occasion where I shouted loud and firm, or if I was concerned with building a reputation I thought was admirable by claiming to know better. Perhaps it was a combination of both - thing was when beauty revealed its unpretentious form to me, I remained unsatisfied and selfish.
Me being me, made things more complicated and difficult than they were. I had thought endlessly, trying to rationalise everything despite knowing that I was overwhelmed by a corpus of knowledge even before I could begin. My world was one where I did the thinking, the evaluating, the feeling and the worrying. I was the source of its limited strength and easily exhausted faculties. I was far from the beauties I claimed I could appreciate... if I wanted to.
Then I was brought to Pastor Wee, Auntie Janet and their children and their warm household. I am eternally grateful to them for what they have done for me and my cousin. And I will never forget the beauty of Your workings in my life.
lux at 7:32 pm