Sunday, September 05, 2004
Comforter for the cold outside
Things are at a stalemate now. We had our first proper conversation in weeks yesterday. Staying together is everything that is wrong. I am that domineering opinionated bitch who insists on her own way and I will not be surprised if she feels oppressed by me. This is not self-denigration, just what I honestly think I am. I believe a part of her agrees with me on this.I stand in the bath wondering why so many things about her frustrate me so much. What is the problem with both of us? If I were her I will start thinking about how much better my friends back home are - more accommodating, understanding and caring. So we both start to run each other down, because we are getting so little personal space, and neither feel any happier after this.
I want to tell her I will never hate her after all this, that she comes closest to being my closest friend. Will such feelings be reciprocated?
I still feel like I am being pushed out of her space, the last to know anything significant in her life and hence I react by doing likewise. Am I the only one thinking so much about this, worrying about it more than I do with my assignments? Wasn't I the one who said time will resolve most issues? I realised that this is possible because I have spent so much time thinking and talking things out.
I wished things were simpler... life a little less complicated.
lux at 11:54 am