Tuesday, August 10, 2004
just feeling so tired
Do not criticise me for airing my views on a public blog. Afterall the authorisation of people allowed to read my blog is granted by me alone. In the instance when certain individuals 'chance' on my diary: it may be that they have no clue as to who I am and hence there are no consequences whatsoever; or that they have an inkling of who the heck I am and their proceeding to read it is no responsibility of mine. So I am the betrayer, the emotional blackmailer who prefers doing things indirectly not directly. What am I really supposed to do?We have both blabbed to friends we have known well and for considerable time. And you have also blabbed to those you have known for under a month. I will not discount the quality of time you have spent with them but can I count this as basis for my irritation? This diary is to be that one fragment of my current life that will have little bearing on you but you sought it out and wrote about it in yours.
Am I supposed to respond to your admittance to having read the online manifestation of my thoughts? What happened to a tacit agreement in keeping certain affairs private?
Being seemingly depressed for over a week I feel this entry is the best way to go. I am getting so tired so I'll just do bulleted points from here on:
- refuse to sit with me for dinner at the table even when you room is just so nearby
- respond monosyllabically to my attempts at striking up conversation
- keep secrets which truths I find out unintentionally later through conversations with mutual friends
- not going out with or having dinner with me for over a week
- walking off when I start talking about my day even though I sat down listening to what little you had to say about yours
- am I getting this sense that, all of a sudden, there is this competition to see who is going to accumulate more friends in this short period of time?
Come on gal... We have known each other for so long. Our friends have always been known to each other but it is seldom that we see paths crossing. I respect the friends you make and keep a reasonable distance. And vice versa. What difference is there now?
lux at 3:48 pm